I have a confession to make. I am a horrific baker. I mean I can make cookies and victoria sponge and that is that. EVERYTHING else I attempt ends in catastrophe. No matter how closely I follow the recipe it doesn't work, it just ends up a crumbly sort of mess and my kitchen ends up covered in the ingredients.
So, to many people this may not be a big deal. I mean I could just buy baked goods and anyway my husband doesn't like cake and can't eat milk chocolate, but to me it's a massive out of proportion kind of thing, and the more I try the more upset and frustrated I get. You see my Mum and Granny are fantastic bakers, I grew up in a home where there were always amazing scones and cakes, I hope one day to be a full time housewife and most significantly in the future I’m going to be a Ministers wife. Basically all these things make me feel that I have to make the most amazing traybakes. That I have to find amazing recipes, that I can't just stick to my cookies and cake which I know work but instead have to stress myself out making things that don't work for me, before and after work making me exhausted, angry and creating havoc in the kitchen. What's worse, because Trev can't eat chocolate I generally only make these when I have to bring baking to church, thus stressing me out even more when I’ve nothing presentable to bring.
After a particularly disastrous baking episode last night and this morning before work, were out of THREE trays of traybakes I got 13 that can be brought to a meeting in church tonight, I have decided that this needs evaluation...
So much of my frustration about this is down to pride. I want to be thought of highly by others, for people to praise me and seriously, that is just wrong. I want to be that picture of a perfect kind of Ministers daughter and wife (which does not exist.) As believers we are not to look for the praise of man, rather such things should be done with a quiet servant heart. So from now on I’m only going to make the things I know I can make to bring to gatherings, even though they may not look the prettiest... and maybe one day with a lot of practice I may be able to bake something other than cookies and sponge!
So, to many people this may not be a big deal. I mean I could just buy baked goods and anyway my husband doesn't like cake and can't eat milk chocolate, but to me it's a massive out of proportion kind of thing, and the more I try the more upset and frustrated I get. You see my Mum and Granny are fantastic bakers, I grew up in a home where there were always amazing scones and cakes, I hope one day to be a full time housewife and most significantly in the future I’m going to be a Ministers wife. Basically all these things make me feel that I have to make the most amazing traybakes. That I have to find amazing recipes, that I can't just stick to my cookies and cake which I know work but instead have to stress myself out making things that don't work for me, before and after work making me exhausted, angry and creating havoc in the kitchen. What's worse, because Trev can't eat chocolate I generally only make these when I have to bring baking to church, thus stressing me out even more when I’ve nothing presentable to bring.
After a particularly disastrous baking episode last night and this morning before work, were out of THREE trays of traybakes I got 13 that can be brought to a meeting in church tonight, I have decided that this needs evaluation...
So much of my frustration about this is down to pride. I want to be thought of highly by others, for people to praise me and seriously, that is just wrong. I want to be that picture of a perfect kind of Ministers daughter and wife (which does not exist.) As believers we are not to look for the praise of man, rather such things should be done with a quiet servant heart. So from now on I’m only going to make the things I know I can make to bring to gatherings, even though they may not look the prettiest... and maybe one day with a lot of practice I may be able to bake something other than cookies and sponge!
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