Dear Mummy to Be

I was so hesitant to publish this. However I write it not out of bitterness but simply to guide those who were blessed with a child easily as to how to relate to their sisters in Christ who struggle with infertility.


Dear Mummy to be,

Congratulations on your wonderful news. How exciting! What a blessing to be carrying that little child close to your heart. That blessing from the Lord. The Bible says that you are blessed and truly you are. Abundantly.

I am happy for you. I really am. But sometime it's hard. It's hard when you complain about feeling sick and tired. I know that you do. I know that it's not pleasant. But it would be better if you spoke to someone else about it. To be perfectly honest I'd lie in bed ill for 9 whole months if it meant at the end I'd hold my baby in my arms. To see my husbands face light up as he saw the face of our child, that combination of he and I.

Please don't ask if I'm expecting. Or say that your child needs companions of the same age. If I could have a child to play with yours, I would. I'm trusting that God's timing is perfect. I know that it is. Maybe your child may babysit mine one day rather than be friends with them. If that's Gods will, then let it be.

Please don't tell me of the sacrifices to your career your making or the problems your going to have finding childcare. Long ago  we made plans for me to give up work when baby came. Yet everyday I go to work. Everyday at work is a reminder to me that my arms are empty.

Please don't tell me it was an 'accident'.

Please don't offer me advice. Unless I ask. If I don't ask please support the decisions we are making. Know that they are made with prayers and tears.

Please support me. Please don't always go into a mummy and mummy to be huddle. Please treat me like I am an equal. Just because a child doesn't grow within me doesn't mean that I'm a child. I can engage in adult conversation. I need love and support.

Please pray.  That I will trust in Gods perfect plan. That bitterness will not consume me. That one day, be that by birth or adoption I'll have a baby to love.

In Christ

Longing to be Mummy