Reclaiming Adoption

A while back I read and reviewd "Adopted for Life." I absoutely loved that book, so when Reclaiming adoption arrived in store I was keen to read it..

So often when a book contains the word 'adoption' in the title many view it as a book solely focusing on the adoption of children. 'Reclaiming Adoption' is unashamedly a book which encourages Christians to add to their families through adoption but this is by no means the sole or even primary purpose of the book. Edited by Dan Curver, the Director of Together for Adoption, a notable lineup of contributors including, John Piper, Rick Phillips and Scotty Smith have collaborated in this short volume hoping fulfill their dream that "...when Christians hear the word adoption, they will think first about their adoption by God."

 It is the conviction of the writers that the doctrine of adoption has been neglected both historically and currently. The first six chapters of the book consider primarily the doctrine of adoption focusing on the adoption of prodigals, adoption and the Trinity, Incarnation and Union with Christ as well as the good news and freedom of adoption. Each of the chapters bring great encouragement and leave us feeling immensely thankful to God for our adoption despite our sinful nature, as Scotty Smith comments in chapter 6 "...the objective reality of our adoption should generate within us unspeakable joy-one that brings much glory to God."

 Although throughout the book there are references to the issue of adoption of children, it is the final two chapters of the book which focus most on this issue. It is commented "Biblically, adoption and orphan care are not primarily something we do because we are infertile or want to meet a great need. They are tangible demonstrations and pictures of the gospel- of God's adoption of us- put on display for the world to see and give glory to God." We see how the church is called to care for the vulnerable and that there are few in society more vulnerable than orphans. It is our duty to care both for these children in our city and those throughout the world. 

John Piper brings the reader 8 similarities between God's adoption of us and our adoption of children. This book is an encouraging and challenging read. We are reminded of a neglected doctrine, that of adoption and are left rejoicing in our adoption to the family of God, with all the benefits that means for us. However, along with the rejoicing we are left convicted. The book frequently refers to churches in America where a culture of adoption has developed, however even though there has been an increased awareness there are still hundreds of thousands of orphans in our world today, who are need of a father and more importantly in need of a saviour.

Published by Cruciform Press

Focus

I used to be the girl who always met deadlines. The girl who was never late. The girl whose diary was always so accurate that she never missed a thing. The girl whose work was always done with accuracy.

That was before college. Not me being at college, because when I was there I was that super organised girl. but my Husbands return to study. We've waited for this day for so long and now he's there. And I'm here. Across that wretched barrier; the sea. Him there. Me here. My heart is with him across the sea. My body is here. Doing what we have to do to get college completed.

I feel like I'm living in two places at once.

And I've totally lost focus.

My head is so full of counting the days 'til the weekend that I forgetwhat people ask me in work.

My diary is so full of days when he's home; that I've forgotten to write anything else down.

When he comes home I forget that the world continues and deadlines must be met.

But I can't lose total focus. I need to keep focused on the One who has called us to this crazy year. The One who has directed our footsteps to a life of serving Him.

When everything else seems out of focus I need to make sure that He is still perfectly clear and that I can still look to Him.

The Organized Heart

I was trying to review every book I've read this year but I'm now terribly behind, due to holidays and Trev starting College and outreach teams etc etc.....

However, recently we've started reviewing books in the shop for the website. I kind of like this because it means free reading material and  I can write a review in work time:).

Recently we got stock in from Cruciform Press and they really do excite me; they are readable but not light airy reading. I picked up The Organized Heart hoping that it would guide me as how to organise my time in this new College phase of life. It was so so helpful and convicting as outlined below...

Women are constantly facing a battle with disorganisation. Many feel they are continuously loosing their campaign to remain organised despite a plethora of books on the topic and a determination among many to make their lives easier. In The Organized Heart a relatively short but convicting book Staci Eastin takes a different approach to many other books on organisation. She outlines that at the centre of disorganisation is one key problem; that of sin. This book will not tell you how to organise your freezer or on what day you should do your laundry, however it does look at the crux of the problem and it is the hope of the author that by fighting the sin that causes disorganisation women will "serve God and your family more effectively, more fruitfully, and with greater peace and joy." 

Staci looks at four sins that can lead to becoming disorganised: namely those of perfectionism, busyness, possessions and leisure. Each of these chapters are very convicting and although we may not feel at the outset of the chapter that a particular area is an issue for us by the end you come to the realisation that there is some of each sin in all of us. 

Staci doesn't want this to be a book which adds rules and regulations to our life but rather a book which helps us find true freedom in Christ. Therefore a chapter on difficult circumstances is included which especially offers counsel for those who are single parents or struggling with illness. This is written with sympathy and we see the authors heart of compassion as she writes "in writing this book, one of my main concerns has been that it would leave women feeling more hopeless than helped..." I feel that her fears are unfounded as this is very much a book of hope. 

The book concludes with some practical suggestions to help with getting organised. Although these include suggestions such a getting a calender, reading books on the issue and planning ahead she constantly points to the Lord, who alone is the one who can help and "urg[e] you along the path to holiness."

 This is an excellent resource for women at all stages of life, it could be read alone or with an accountability partner as discussion questions are included at the close of each chapter.

Published by Cruciform Press

Worshiping at the Altar of Family

This is a very interesting post from Ted and Kristin Kluck on the idol of family- definitely convicting and challenging. It comments:

"Churches encourage our husbands daily to not make idols out of their careers, and to not look at porn. But how are we, as wives, encouraging and exhorting one another not to make idols out of perhaps our greatest gifts: our families?"

Read the rest here

2 Years...

    

The Lord is good to all,

and his mercy is over all that he has made.  Psalm 145:9

 

 

My mouth will speak the praise of the LORD.  Psalm 145:21

Joined

On Tuesday it will be two whole years. Two years since the day I walked up that aisle shaking on my Dad's arm. In awe that this was really happening to me.

Two years since I walked down that aisle. Mr and Mrs. Bursting with joy.

Two lives joined.

Joined forever. Through the good and through the bad.

Those vows we said, they joined us together. But that was only the beginning. For each day we become closer and closer.

And I can't wait to spend the next two years with him. And the next and the next. And forever. For he is mine and I am his and truly we are joined.

Femininity: June Cleaver, Clair Huxtable, or the Valiant Woman?

Sometimes I tire of the constant debate that seems to go on in the Christian world. The debate as to whether women should or shouldn't work outside the home. Personally I feel that the best place for women to be is taking care of their home and children, full time but I also know that this is not always possible. I love this balanced article over at Desiring God Blog, in it Trina Nowell comments:

 

"As we rightly fear God and honor his design for femininity, the details of how that gets worked out in our homes will look differently for each woman."

In the Midst of Life

After watching Call the Midwife on the BBC earlier this year I've become quite a fan of Jennifer Worth's writing. So far I've read Call the Midwife and Shadows of the Work House which were both excellent memoirs of social history. In the Midst of Life did not disappoint. It is a fascinating read, providing a record of the changing attitude towards death in the UK over the past century.

Although the subject of the book may be somewhat morbid the book is written with warmth and at times humour. There is also sensitivity concerning death. You are faced with the reality of the fact that death comes to us all and many questions arise such as: How long should an individual continue with treatment? When should resuscitation not be allowed? Do we hide death to too great and extent?

It is unlikely that you will agree with everything that Worth says, for example I felt that she was too accepting of Euthanasia but this is defiantly a book to get you thinking. As a secular book it may be useful in causing people to think about the brevity of life and what happens after death.

Stretch

I've never been one much for public speaking. Or being the centre of conversation. Phoning people still gives me knots in my tummy. My report card from school always stated I needed to speak more in class.

I am naturally so very shy.

In a family of incredibly out going siblings I could always hide behind someone. They would talk for me... generally.

But then I grew up.

They grew up.

So we all went our separate ways in life.

So no longer could I hide.

No longer could I depend on my dad to make that phone call. My brother to order in a cafe. Suddenly I was the grown up having to speak at the front of kids club.

I was stretched. So far beyond my comfort zone.

But you know sometimes being stretched is so very good for us.

The Lord wants us to be stretched for Him.

So naturally I'm still so very shy. But just because we're naturally something doesn't make it right. I mean we're naturally sinners. But that's so not right.

I have been stretched.

So that sometimes, just sometimes when people see me at the front of kids club or talking to someone in work they don't realise that every. single. word. I say is a stretch. But sometimes being stretched is good.

Good vs Best

With Trev heading to College in the next few weeks we're looking to a whole new way of life round here. I'm trying to decide what to do with my time; what ministry opportunities to commit to, which to drop and so on. This post from Girl Talk Blog is a timely reminder about how sometimes we have to give up what is good, to do what is best.

They comment: It’s frequently the good things that distract us from the best things. How true this is!

Read the rest of the article HERE

A New Name

At school I studied Home Economics to A-Level. I loved finding out about food. The chemical reactions thatoccured in your body from eating. The effects foods had on your body. I began to lose weight. I went to University in Edinburgh to study Human Nutrition. I was surrounded by weight obsessed individuals. As part of a project we had to carry around scales and weigh what we ate. I became concerned my results were going to show that I ate more than everyone else. So I cut back. After the project was over I continued to cut back and back. I had cards written out with what I could eat each day. I used to walk for miles. I lost so much weight. Thankfully my story ends there. Through God's grace, friends, family, the fact that I am not determined and dropping out of that University and returning home I started eating properly again and never descended into anorexia. However the experience made me realise how easy it could be to descend down this path.

A New Name outlines the story of Emma Scrivener and her struggle with Anorexia. This isn't a  story wrapped up in pretty ribbons. This is a story which outlines the truth of this terrible condition, a Emma comments "The face of anorexia is not a glossy model in a perfume ad.". We see Emma descending from a happy child in Belfast into a deeply troubled teenager who is imprisoned by the desire to control what she eats. We see her seemingly recover only to descend again into the condition in her twenties.We see her recover from anorexia but still suffer from the consequences of the condition.

I really benefited from this book. It is beautifully written and shows how ultimately it was God who could pull her from the trap of anorexia. It seeks to raise the profile of this condition which is so damaging but so often ignored. It is a brutally honest book. Some of the language and expressions used take me back to being at school and this may offend some; but the use of such expressions reflect reality and highlight the issue of bullying. Also I was a little confused as to when her actual conversion happened. However all in all I felt that this was an excellent read and would do everyone good to read especially mothers of teenage daughters, those with an interest in anorexia and youth leaders.

Published by IVP

Here

I've always been a dreamer. To a fault. I spent my early years dreaming of the future. Of my prince charming. Of the perfect semi in the suburbs. Of chubby cheeked dark  haired little ones. It took up my days. I passed my hours designing my house in my head. Naming my babies.

Fast forward 20 years. The man of my dreams is here. But the rest? The rest has not materialised. That perfect semi? A rented terrace house. Those chubby babies? I whisper the word infertility under my breath.

I am here. 

It's not where I imagined I'd be.

But here is where God has me.

And as He alone is wise. Is perfect.

As He alone knows my end from my beginning.

I will cling to Him in the here and now.

For it is here that He wants me to be.

 

The Bible and the Pain of Infertility

Within a day this article came to my attention twice- pretty crazy as it is about 7 years old!

It is so so good; read it if your struggling with infertility to make you realise that you are perfectly normal in your responses, read it if your not so that you can encourage those who are. Most of all be encouraged by it's Biblical response to this issue.

Read it HERE

Chocolate Fudge Slice with Carmel Chocolate

I've written before about my lack of talents in the baking department. So when I was asked to make tray bakes for my Managers farewell this week I went into somewhat of a panic. Being the only female employee it was felt that I was the ideal person to make these buns; how wrong they were!

Recently my friend passed onto me the link from this amazing blog, Food that Serves. It has so many simple, yummy recipes. I thought that the following recipe looked simple even for a horrific baker like me! And I was right. Seriously this is the most amazing brownie type cake EVER! It is so so delicious and so so easy; although the fact that it worked may be down to my sister helping me rather than my improved skills!

CHOCOLATE FUDGE SLICE WITH CARAMEL CHOCOLATE

Makes 24

From Food that Serves

• 1 cup self raising flour
•  1/2 cup brown sugar
•  1/2 cup coconut
•  2 heaped tablespoons cocoa
•  125g butter, melted
•  400g can condensed milk
•  1 large bar Cadbury's Caramel

1. Grease and line a rectangular 16x26cm dish with baking paper. Preheat oven to 180 degrees.
2. In a large mixing bowl combine all the ingredients (except chocolate), press into dish. Break chocolate into individual squares and press them randomly and firmly into the mixture in the tin.
3. Bake for 20-25 mins, but start checking early. The slice should be rise back after a light touch but still be a little wobbly and soft when it comes out of the oven. It will continue to cook as it cools.

Beyond

I've never been one much for separation.

Being apart.

Distance.

Maybe it was growing up on this side of the Irish sea while the rest of my family were on the other.

When I think of September my heart literally aches. For that is the month when the love of my life leaves for college.

This is going to be a year of looking beyond the week to the weekend. When he comes home. To me.

Of  looking beyond the term. When he comes home. To me

Of looking beyond another term. When he comes home for the summer. To me and three whole months of never being apart.

This is going to be a year of looking beyond the moments of being apart.

Looking beyond the distance.

To the moments of being together.

And by His grace we'll make it beyond this year, stronger than before. 

 

The Loop

I stand at the bottom of the slide waiting for her to come down. I'm greeted with squeals of delight and giggles at this new found freedom that walking brings. I look across at her brothers and check they are all OK. They're growing up fast, it's scary, I remember them as little tiny boys, singing them to sleep, reading them tales, making up stories.

Where did time go?

These little people have been part of my life for 7 years now.

My daydreams and wanderings are interrupted by a mother. She's talking about shoes to me. And child development. And kids food.  Another mother injects too. I play along. Don't admit that these three sandy haired little ones aren't mine.

I realise then. That as they've grown, so have I. I'm no longer clearly just the baby sitter. I am old enough to be a mummy to these little ones. They could be mine.

I continue the conversation, basking in it's equality. Rejoicing in the fact that I've had enough kiddos in my care that I know enough to pass myself about walking and growth and the price of shoes. I know about the snacks they eat. I love it. I long for the day when a little one calls me mummy and this is my reality. I mean I don't want to constantly talk of babies and children. But I love being treated like an adult. I love not feeling out of the loop.

However when people know the truth, the reality is so different.

I sit in creche. The only childless helper there.

And no-one speaks to me. Other than the children. The whole entire hour.

Except when one kid needs their nappy changed.

And the mothers are flabbergasted I can do it.

Quickly.

With one hand.

Then they return to talking to each other about  walking and growth and the price of shoes. About the snacks kids like to eat.

And no one asks my thoughts.

Because after all I've never had a child. So what would I know?

And I hate the Mummy chat. Because I'm out of the loop. And I long for the day when a little one calls me mummy and in reality I can participate.

But then I think of the girl like me. Sitting in the creche. With empty arms and an empty womb.

And I never ever want to make her pain feel worse.

So I look forward to the day when a little one calls me mummy and I turn around and talk about something other than  walking and growth and the price of shoes. About the snacks kids like to eat.


I ask her how she is. How her week was. How her husband is. And I ask her if maybe she'd like to come over and look after my little ones. So that she can feel included and be treated like an adult. To not feel so isolated when it seems like the rest of the world is talking of walking and growth and the price of shoes. About the snacks kids like to eat.

I Want it All

Sometimes I try to do it all. Yesterday was the perfect example. We were up at 6.30 to go mind my nephew. After leaving him I left Trev to work and went and minded three other little kiddos. Then I went home and cleaned the house from top to bottom. Today I feel like death warmed up I'm so exhausted. In the midst of tears of exhaustion and fustration last night, where I felt that I had done nothing more than the typical stay at home mum that day, but felt so tired, I read this timely reminder, by Courtney Reissig in which she reminds us that we can't do  it all, only God can. She comments: "The real issue is not so much about doing it all, as it is about being faithful with what is in front of you."

Read the rest of the article here.

His Fatherly Hand

What do you understand by the providence of God?

The almighty, everywhere-present power of God, whereby, as it were by His hand, He still upholds heaven and earth with all creatures, and so governs them that herbs and grass, rain and drought, fruitful and barren years, meat and drink, health and sickness,4 riches and poverty, indeed, all things come not by chance, but by His fatherly hand.

Heidelberg Catechism Lord's Day 10

Enough

"He satisfies your deep desires from His unending stores of good..." we sing. The congregation is in full swing. The singing is amazing. I look around at the people gathered, my brothers and sisters in the Lord. As I look up and down the rows I see family upon family. I see lots of little babies in arms. Toddlers standing on the chairs. Children standing beside their parents. Teenagers. Beautiful rounded pregnant tummies, heralding the imminent arrival of yet another little one. We are a blessed congregation.

He satisfies your deep desires... the words play over and over in my mind. A tear has fallen from my eye. I pull my hair over my face in an attempt to hide my emotions. I don't want pity. I don't want to be the one people speak about babies in hushed tones around.

We've stopped singing now. As we pray I compose my self. The words from Psalm 103 still swirling in my mind. He satisfies. He is good. He is more than enough.

 He's given us so much more than we deserve. I need to trust Him. I need to know that He is enough. 

Mini Shell Bacon Pasta

I don't normally post a whole lot of recipes here because, you know, I'm not exactly a gourmet cook! I mean my husband eats my food and says he likes it... but he's got to... right?! :) 

However my parents are away on holiday and so my younger siblings are home alone... so I've ended up feeding them a good bit the last week. Last night Trev was at work at dinner time and they were over so I decided to make one of our favourites from Jamie Oliver's Ministry of Food. When cooking for them it's always somewhat taxing because 1) they are INCREDIBLY fussy eaters and 2) they are my siblings so they will tell me exactly what they think of it- so if it's awful, they'll say! So last night when my brother thought dinner was 'amazing' and my sister even ate peas; I knew we were on to a winner!

Jamie Oliver's picture of his dish- possibly looks better than mine!

Mini Shell Bacon  Pasta

Serves 3

Ingredients

Mini Shell Pasta- 250g
Bacon -200g chopped
Parmesan
Lemon Juice
Crème Fraîche - 3 Tablespoons
Frozen Peas- 2 Hand fulls
Olive oil
Pepper

Method

1. Cook pasta according to pack instructions
2. Cook bacon in a little olive oil in a frying pan.
3. Once bacon goes golden add frozen peas
4. Cook for about 5 mins- until the peas are soft
5. Add crème fraîche and allow to simmer for a few minutes on a low heat.
6. Drain pasta and add to the bacon mixture.
7. Add lemon juice, pepper and parmesan to taste.
8. Serve!

TGC Women’s Recommended Reading

From Desiring God

I am passionate about women reading good books. Nothing frustrates me more when women by pass theological books and focus only on fiction. Not that there isn't a place for fiction but if we are to be women whose lives are characterised by a love for God and a deeper knowledge of Him, we need to be those who read books that will stretch our minds and help us grow in grace.

I was so excited to read this article from the Gospel Coalition during the week in which they asked some of the speakers at the Gospel Coalition Women's Conference for their book recommendations. There are so many treasures within the list and I love the fact that not all the books are from the 'women's section', as although it is important to read such books sometimes we as women can be guilty of reading too much in this one area to the detriment of other titles.

Choosing Gratitude

So often in life I complain. I focus more on what is going seemingly wrong, rather than all the abundant blessings I have to rejoice in. I want to be more joyful, but I wasn't really sure where to start. I had thought about reading 1000 Gifts, but something about it just didn't sit right with me, as I carried out some research into it- I kinda like to research a book before I spend on it!- I read a great wee article by Tim Challies. After I'd finished that article I decided to invest my pennies else where... but I wasn't sure where. Then I discovered that the wonderful Nancy Leigh DeMoss had written a book entitled Choosing Gratitude. Nancy has been such a blessing to me over the past few months through her radio show Revive our Hearts- she's now an integral part of my kitchen cleaning routine - so I was so excited to read what she had to say on this important subject.

This book is so so so good. It is easy to read but so convicting. It is deep but also has real life examples. It is soaked in scripture and leaves you clinging to the Lord to make you a more thankful person. Throughout the book Nancy states that gratitude isn't something that is optional, it is required for those who are believers. She begins basically outlining the theology of why we should be a thankful people, so that we are not just thankful in order to make us happy, but rather because it is an integral part of our faith. She then continues on by giving practical examples of people who were thankful in face of great trial and how we too can be thankful. She concludes the book with a 30 day devotional and resources for making our lives one that breathes gratitude to the Lord and to those whom we come into contact with.

We are not made to feel that being thankful is something simple to do, Nancy speaks with sensitivity and realises that in the face of trial it can be difficuly to be joyful, but it is something that we must do.

Read this book and you will view the world through different eyes. You will be more thankful for your salvation, for the material gifts of life and even for the trials which will come our way. Your whole life can and should be changed: as Nancy comments:
"Gratitude is a lifestyle. A hard-fought, grace infused, biblical lifestyle."

Published by Moody

Does Grace Grow Best in Winter?

Recently I have really been blessed by some sermons by Ligon Duncan. When I discovered he'd written a book on suffering I was excited! CJ Mahaney says on the front cover,"If you are presently suffering this book is for you. And if you are not, this book is still for you." He couldn't be more right- this is a book that will encourage and challenge everyone.

The book is not long, less than 100 pages and has large-ish type. Therefore although relevant for everyone it is the sort of book which could be read by someone in the midst of trials as it is not a great weighty book but is crammed full of truth. There are four chapters, looking at issues such as Why do we suffer? What is God up to? and How can we profit from suffering? Each of these are written clearly and practically and often in point form, which makes what he is saying easy to remember.

It was however the final chapter, which I found to be the most challenging. Entitled "What should we think of Jesus' suffering?", it reminds us that Jesus also suffered and can empathise with us in our suffering. So often we think that our suffering is just so great and we forget that Jesus suffered greater distress than we ever will. What's more this suffering was for us. We deserved to suffer more than we ever do, but because of His grace he took our place. As Duncan comments:

"The Christian's suffering in this life, then, is nothing compared to what it would have been were it not for the Lord Jesus Christ."

This book leaves you less thinking about your own problems and thankful for Christs gracious work on the cross.

Published by P&R

Love for the Big and the Small

We go to a church with lots of children. Lots and lots and lots. For about the past 5 years there has always been at least one woman  pregnant, in a church of 150 or so that's pretty good going! We have been blessed by God. However for those few without a child or one on the way it can be hard. Kevin DeYoung offers valuable insight to everyone as to how we view peoples family sizes, whether large, small or nor existent.

He comments: 

"In some churches women may feel a pressure to be pregnant. Maybe the pressure is stated, maybe unstated, maybe it’s inaccurately perceived. But it is felt, so let’s be careful not to add to the pressure. In a church where literally dozens of women are bursting at the womb almost constantly and all the talk is about latching, stripping membranes, and other pleasantries we must be careful that young women who aren’t pregnant don’t feel inferior or out of place. I can just about guarantee they feel that way already, so you’ll have to go out of your way to welcome, affirm, and include."

Read the rest of the article Here

Story

Sometimes, just sometimes, when I go to my parents I leave the adult conversation or the loud laughter and sneak out to the hall. I pull back the glass doors of the bookcase, a family heirloom, passed down from generation to generation and begin looking at the books. These are the book we had as children. The ones my mum can't bear to let go. The ones that other children in my parents care now hold and look at. These are the stories that made me. These are the stories that taught me.

As I look through the rows one section stand out. The Bible story series that we collected volume by volume over years and years. There was always such excitement each time Dad brought us one home. The first volume we received is battered nearly beyond recognition., the title "A Baby Called John" peeling off. The story of Elizabeth being blessed with a son when it was humanly impossible. My favourite Bible story when I was two. The story I could recite word for word from the book when I was three.

This is not a fictional story. This is Truth. And why out of all the stories that were there did I pick that one as my favourite?

Because God has a way of preparing us from we are children for the hard things we will face.

God gives us stories to show His power.

God has ingrained that true story on my mind. That God can give a child to the barren.

God gave us stories. True stories. 

Feminine Appeal

Just before I got married I read Carolyn Mahaney's book Feminine Appeal. I loved it. Whenever anyone comes into the shop looking for book on being a Wife it's the one I always recommend, as do my colleagues, on my recommendation! However it suddenly struck me the other day; I have very little recollection about what it actually I said; I mean I knew it was great but other than that it had all become somewhat of a blur! So I decided to re-read it and I'm so glad I did.  As I read it so much of it came back to me, but it was different reading it from the perspective of being married rather than preparing to be.

The book uses Titus 2 to outline seven virtues of a Godly Wife and Mother. These include topics such as 'loving my husband', 'submission' and 'working at home.' The book is counter-cultural as issues such as submission are now scorned by many but Mahaney explains each point clearly and from Scripture. This is not a book for those who live in some cut off cocoon; this is a book for women in the real world. We are given helpful advice on how to really love our husbands and children and how to be submissive to them as well as practical suggestions how to remain pure, kind and self-controlled. The picture she paints of the home of a Godly woman has always inspired me, she argues that taking care of the home is not a second rate job but rather a role in which we create "...pleasant havens for our husband and children, sanctuaries where we offer care and hospitality to other Christians, and gateways from which we extend the gospel to families, friends and neighbours." How I long to have a home like this!

The book closes with Carolyn writing about the life of her mother, who committed her whole life to serving her husband and family and creating a welcoming home, all with a constantly joyful spirit. This brought a tear to my eye; we live in a world where there are so many demands on our life and so often we don't serve the Lord in our homes with such a joyful spirit; but this is our God given role; and how we should delight in His design!

I love this book even more than I did the first time through- which is saying a lot! If you know anyone about to embark on the journey of being a Wife this is the one book they shouldn't be without! The only negative is the cover, which looks incredibly dated but there's just about to be a reprint with a new jacket.

Published by Crossway

Teach Children the Bible Is Not About Them

Over the years I have have been involved in much children's work. I have use so many resources. Time and time again I have started preparing a lesson perfectly calmly and finished off, annoyed and frustrated. Time and time again the leaders resource I have used has changed what I feel the true meaning of the story is to some sort of moral lesson.

I love this article by Sally Lloyd Jones in which she says: "When we drill a Bible story down into a moral lesson, we make it all about us. But the Bible isn’t mainly about us, and what we are supposed to be doing — it’s about God, and what he has done!"

Read the rest of the article HERE.

Full Time Homemaker, Full Time Employee

It's 7am. A deafening sound pierces through the silence. The dreaded alarm clock awakens me from deep sleep. I lie there, hoping that maybe I set my alarm wrong last night, but then the clock radio begins blaring and I can't deceive myself any longer; it really is time to get up, get ready and go to work. Go to work. This was not how I imagined life would be nearly two years into marriage. I thought my exhaustion in the morning would be because I'd been up half the night with a little one, not because I'm holding down a full time job as well as my primary purpose of being a 'keeper of the home.' However, this is where God has placed us right now. It is essential that I work full time as my Husband begins training for the Ministry and God, in His wisdom has chosen at this time not to bless us with any children. Going to work fulltime, every day is not what I would have chosen to do but I know that it is what I'm meant to be doing right now and that it is only for a season. It has been tough, it is not ideal but here I offer some advice to those who find themselves having to work full time:

1. Know that you can be submissive and work outside the home.

This is something I have struggled with so much. So often the picture of the submissive wife portrayed to us shows a woman who doesn't go out to work. I grew up in a home where my Mum never went out to work and I feel that this is the ideal Biblical model. However, if our Husband has asked us to go to work and it is not just so that we can have luxuries in life but rather it is essential for survival we are being submissive. For me to remain at home at this time would  be unsubmissive. The Proverbs 31 woman is a picture of the ideal, submissive wife. We see however that she worked: “She considers a field and buys it; with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard.” (Proverbs 31:16 ESV). In their book The Meaning of Marriage Kathy Keller talks of a time when she had to go out to work in the morning and her husband, Tim stayed at home and got the children ready, she comments"... An outsider looking at our marriage may have thought role reversal was going on... although the superficial details of who did what had changed, I was still bringing my gifts as a strong helper to Tim making it possible for him to teach."

2. Don't let your job take over your life.

I work in the bookshop associated with our denomination. Before I was married I worked as a political researcher, it was a much more challenging job than I do now. However it required working at home  after hours and late nights which I really wouldn't want to do now that I'm married. Now when 5.30pm comes I leave work and I don't have to think about it until the next day, I can focus on being a wife and homemaker. In relation to the work carried out by the Proverbs 31 Woman, Claire Smith, in her excellent book God's Good Design comments: "Her family only benefit from her work. There is no sense that they are missing out because she is not there when they need her."

3. Realise that you can't do everything.

Before I was married I was heavily involved in the youth programme at our church. For the first year of marriage I tried to keep as actively involved. Over time I realised that I just couldn't do it. I was exhausted, my Husband was neglected and I was never ever on top of my household duties. I eventually gave everything up except a Bible Study I do with my Husband, it was difficult in some ways as I love doing children's outreach, however I am meant to support my Husband and if other things are stopping me doing that, they have to go. Doing youth work wasn't a bad thing, but it wasn't the best thing, Carolyn Mahaney says in Shopping for Time: “It's frequently these good things that distract us from the best things." As it says in Ecclesiastes 3:1 "For everything there is a season..." This is a season in which I have to love and support my Husband and work outside the home, therefore something has to go.

4. Go straight home after work.

Often it is common for people to meet up after work for dinner or aerobics or whatever. It may offend people when you say that you’re not going; but your ultimate role is to be at home, with your Husband. In Proverbs 17:24 it says "The discerning sets his face toward wisdom, but the eyes of a fool are on the ends of the earth.” This means that wisdom sees the things straight in front of us while foolishness looks to things that are "out there". In relation to this Elizabeth George comments: "The wise woman sees the value of being at home."

5. Pray for contentment.

I never imagined that this is where I would be. It is easy to be frustrated  and  this can have a knock on into both the work we do within and without the home. We need to realise that this is where God has chosen for us to be at this time and we are to glorify Him in every task that we do, whether that be cooking dinner at home for our Husband or answering the phone for the umpteenth time in our workplace outside the home.

6. Speak highly of your Husband and remember that he is ultimately the one you submit to.

The work place is full of people making jokes about 'useless husbands' or complaints about their wives. Don't participate. Use this season of working outside the home as an opportunity to show wives that they should respect their husbands. Try and reflect the beauty of Christian marriage to those you come into contact with. Remember that your boss doesn't require that you submit to him in the same way you submit to your husband as it says “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.”(Ephesians 5:22 ESV). Our bosses and colleagues require respect but ultimately if we have to make a decision, such as for example working overtime, we should ask our Husbands first, not automatically do what our boss says.

Linking to Growing Home

Dance

It's been raining here. Great big drops from heaven. Saturating the earth. Flooding the land. It's been raining more than we would want for June. The summer plans, left in soggy remnants. The houses left destroyed. And yet it still rains.


The weather mirrors my innermost trials. Our plans have been left destroyed. I feel my heart is saturated. And yet it still rains.

God knows that this is what we need. We don't want more rain, but we need more.


He also tells us not to just tolerate the rain but to "Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you." (1 Thes. 5:16-18) Let us look to Him so that we learn not just to trudge in the rain but to truly dance as drops continue to descend.

 

Memoirs of an Ordinary Pastor

Both my husband and my Dad had raved about this book and Trev had said months and months ago that I should read it too. I wasn't really sure, as I'm not a Pastor and I felt that this was perhaps a book only suited to men called as such, but once again my husband was right and this is a book that others, especially wives of those in Ministry could benefit from.

The book is basically the life story of Tom Carson, father of Don Carson told through narrative from Don and his siblings and diary entries from Tom himself. To be honest, I found the start of the book incredibly hard work, as Carson outlines a brief history of Quebec. I totally understand why this was included, as a foundation for the rest of the story, however as I knew absolutely nothing about the history of that area it took me a good while to read through! However, coming from the Northern Ireland context it was fascinating to see how many similarities there were between Canada and Northern Ireland in terms of Catholic and Protestant segregation especially as regards education.

Tom was born in Carrickfergus in Northern Ireland in 1911, this was somewhat exciting as this is where Trev is from and where my in-laws still live! However he emigrated to Canada when he was two and continued to live there for the rest of his earthly days. Throughout the book we are told of his conversion, his call and training for ministry and the various charges he went too. We see the ups and down of pastoral ministry. We see a man pressing on with great dedication to the people of French speaking Canada, despite seeing very little fruit for his labour. We see someone who was willing to live on very little for the sake of the Gospel.

Throughout the book we are given glimpses into the relationship between Tom and his wife, Marg. The support she was to him is an example for all Pastors wives. It is a credit to them and a real example of grace that their children were unaware when they were facing bitter opposition from other believers, because they had vowed never to speak ill of people in front of their children. Marg was the one Tom came and spoke to at the end of a day of pastoral visitation, we see her willingness to learn French although it didn't come easily to her and we see that she was willing to work outside the home when this was required but was willing to give this up when Tom needed more support at home. Tom did not take her forgranted but rather as she was plagued with Alzheimer's, he showed unfailing love and commitment to her. On her death he wrote; "What a woman of God she was! I bless God for having given her to me."

In many ways in the relationship between Marg and Tom I saw my own parents marriage; a picture of the wife of a Pastor being committed to his work and ready to make sacrifices for him in order that he is better equipped to spread the gospel. It challenged me once again to be this kind of wife; a wife who is her husband's confidante and support, who loves him continually through the ups and through the downs of Ministry and sees him as her hero when the rest if the world regards him as an Ordinary Pastor.

Published by Crossway

A Black and White Choice NOT to Read "Fifty Shades of Grey"

Recently people have kept coming into the shop where I work asking for the book, Fifty Shades of Grey. Obviously as a Christian bookshop we don't have it in stock, so customers leave empty handed. In the supermarket where my husband works customers also leave empty handed when looking for this book but not because they don't stock it but because they are sold out. I have not read this book, nor do I ever intend too and I would have to seriously question any Christian who would. Mary Kassian over at True Woman Blog has a wonderful article on why we shouldn't be reading this book. This summer in our reading, let's read things that encourage and stimulate our minds and souls, not things which pervert our minds.

Read the article HERE.

Shadows of the Workhouse

In April I read and reviewed Call the Midwife, the memoirs of Midwife Jenny Lee and her work in the East End of London. I wasn't really intending on reading any of the other books in the series but when we were at the outlet centre last week I noticed that they were on 2 for £5. I dithered for a good while whether or not to get them and in the end my lovely husband picked them up and went to the counter and bought me the next two books in the series. I'm so glad he did!

In Shadows of the Workhouse Jenny steps back from talking about Midwifery in the East End and talks more about life there in a by-gone era. We meet a variety of individuals who all have stories to tell, who have all been dramatically shaped by their past.

We hear stories from the workhouse and we see how cruelty was a predominant feature of these institutions. However, the author is  balanced, she recognises that although these institutions were cruel and unloving, they saved many children from a life of starvation on the streets. We see individuals at the end of their lives, having lost everything but still being thankful for what they have. We hear stories of the war and the devastating impact this had on so may families. This is the story of people from the East End of London, so at times it is gritty and there are a few bits which are inappropriate, however I felt that this book had less unsavoury elements that Call the Midwife.

What struck me time and time again was how many of the stories recorded happened only about 100 years ago. Families were separated and criminalised just for being poor. Old men were allowed to die, with no concern for their health. It was a reminder about how blessed we are in this country today and how we have very little reason to complain. The book also left me pondering a number of different issues, such as feminism, dementia and incest. I most definitely did not agree with the author on all these issues but it certainly made me recap why I believe what I believe and  look again to scripture to defend it. It also reminded me that issues such as these are not new phenomenons but have been around for a long, long time.

Perhaps, it's because I did History at University but I feel that it's important to look back at times. To look at our history, at what shaped us, as Cicero said:

"To know nothing of what happened before you were born is to remain forever a child."        

Risk

I am not a risk taker. I was always the one who used the traffic lights on the way home from school even though there wasn't a car in sight. The one who only eats plain food. The one who needs a schedule in order to keep sane. When it came to love and marriage I wanted it to be, you know, risk free. Plain sailing.

However, as I grew up I realised that this wasn't the case. Love is a risk. As CS Lewis says "To love is to be vulnerable." Whether you believe in courtship or dating. Whether your parents are heavily involved or completely absent, falling in love is a risk. More than likely you will get hurt somewhere along the path. There will be tears and confusion.

When me and my now husband first dated it was  full of risk. If it hadn't worked out there would have been no escape from each other, he worked at the church and I was the Ministers daughter. However if we never had taken the risk we would never have received the blessing of being married to each other and that is a much worse prospect than the fear of risk.

 

Trusting God: Even When Life Hurts

A long time ago I read a couple of Jerry Bridges books. I thought that they were, you know, OK. Years passed and I never really felt  I particularly wanted to read another one of his books. However recently life has thrown us a few 'difficult providences' as my Dad would say. One day I arrived home to discover that I had a parcel, which is always exciting and inside I discovered that my amazing friend Cat had send me Trusting God Even When Life Hurts. As I read those pages I realised why so many people are such big fans of Bridges and I  don't know why I wasn't before now!

In reading the book it is kind of like having a wise grandfather figure explaining the Bible's teaching on suffering to you in a clear and sensitive manner. However there is a great depth to the book and at times it has to be read slowly to fully grasp the depth of what Bridges is saying. The book is immersed in Scripture and we learn much about God and who He is and how He only wants the very best for His children. We are shown that God is in control over people, nations and nature, even when we can not seem to see it. Throughout the book Bridges tells us time and time again that we CAN trust God with everything. We trust Him when things are, in our opinion going well, so why do we question Him when faced with trials? This was such a challenge to me as so often I have a plan as to how things should go and if they don't go that way I begin to question God. In response to such feelings Bridges comments:

"God's infinite wisdom then is displayed in bringing good out of evil, beauty out of ashes. It is displayed in turning all the forces of evil that rage against His children into good for them. But the good that He brings about is often different from the good we envision." p126



This is a book for everyone, not just for those facing great present trouble. Trial comes to us all at one time or another, in some shape or form and in reading this book a firm foundation would be laid for when these difficult providences batter us.

Published by NavPress

Why You Should Consider Cancelling Your Short-Term Mission Trips

When I was a student, I did the thing that students do with their long holidays; I went on an international mission trip. However, when I came back from Nigeria I wasn't transformed, I didn't feel I'd made a difference to Africa, rather I felt that our visit had left children who'd been abandoned before more traumatised because they'd been left again and that I'd been little more than a tourist. Over the years I haven't found many people who have agreed with my sentiments, and often I have kept quiet about them in order not to offend people. However this article yesterday by Darren Carlson on the Gospel Coalition Blog sums up my feelings so well and also touches on one of my greatest annoyances; people sending clothes to Africa.

Path

In times of wonder and beauty we never stop to ask God, why? We praise Him, perhaps not enough but we generally don't ask Him why He he chooses to bless us.

In times of difficulty, when each and every step is a mammoth effort, when our hearts ache and our eyes are filled with salty tears, we ask why? Over and over and over again. We don't praise Him. At all.

And yet we should praise and rejoice in the happy and in the sad. If we ask why in the bad, we should ask why He ever chooses to bless wretched sinners such as us, in the good.

He is directing our paths and watching us in every single step of our life. That dark path your facing? That sense of deepest despair? The path of drudgery which seems to be never ending? He knows. He cares. And He brings us along that path because He is good and it is for our good. Even though this side of heaven we may never fully grasp what that good is.

Resources For Family Worship (Part 3)

Today I'm finishing our little series on resources for family worship. I've covered resources for families with younger children HERE and older children HERE. Today I thought I'd finish up looking at some Catechisms and resources to help and encourage parents. As I looked back on what has been reviewed I realise that this has been far from comprehensive as there are so many other good resources out there!

Over the course of the series I have looked at different books that help explain the Bible to children. However it is amazing how much of the Bible children can grasp by being read it alone. One mother, Carrie Ward decided that she was going to read through the entire Bible to her young children. In Together:Growing Appetites For God Carrie outlines in a down to earth manner how she did it and offers lots of practical encouragement for other Mothers who want to do the same.
She also did a great series recently on Revive Our Hearts.

Catechisms

I grew up on the Catechism and I really can't over emphasise what an amazing blessing it was to my life! Initially we used the Child's Catechism which is published by the Presbyterian Church in Ireland. Basically it is just a series of very basic questions split into two sections, the first 129 questions are entitled 'History' and are basically questions on Bible stories, the second section is entitled 'Doctrine' and has 46 questions covering issues such as 'Who is God?' and the sacraments. For little ones it is a blessing to have such a grounding in the Bible which can be easily recalled.

Another popular Catechism type book is 'My First Book of Questions and Answers'. Perhaps a little more in depth that the Child's Catechism it covers many of the same topics with an especial focus on Doctrine and also has a Bible reference at the end of each answer. 

When we finished the Child's Catechism we moved onto the Shorter Catechism. Personally I learnt it in the traditional version, however sometimes it meant that I rhymed things off by heart that I wasn't fully sure what they meant! In recent years our church has used the Westminster Shorter Catechism in Modern English which has faithfully updated the  language for a new day. It is such a wonderful summary of the Reformed Faith and is something, which if learnt properly can be brought back to memory throughout life in all sorts of situations when wanting to recall truth.

If your still not sure about teaching children a Catechism there is a great book published by P&R called 'Rediscovering Catechism'. It explains to families and churches alike why the learning of a catechism is important and how to practically go about teaching it. It is packed full of resources and outlines different Catechisms available.